Saturday, September 26, 2015

Episode 303 - Warrior Nun Areala and Glory - GOD and COUNTRY

Episode 303: Warrior Nun Areala and Glory - GOD and COUNTRY

She's here to kick arse and take communion!

When you're engaged in a legal battle over the ownership of intellectual property, there are a number of things that you can do to improve your case. Collaborating on a comic where you depict your opponent as a demon worshipper who sold his soul and spills the blood of innocents in exchange for popularity isn't one of them, but that's exactly what happens in this thing written and drawn by Ben "Obvious Nun Fetish" Dunn with assistance from Rob "Obvious Pouch Fetish" Leifeld. None the less, that's exactly what you get as Areala (Leather clad nun with a sword) and Glory (Chinese bootleg Wonder Woman) go to a con and fight deadly foes like booth queues, the concession stand and Jason, a twelve year old kid that you'll want to smack the instant you meet and yet is vital to the whole mess. Features very little God and almost no country! Diesel!

Riffers: Rebecca Bartley, Natasha Isavia, Mat Simmons and Rick R. Mortis
Written by: Rick R.

Wednesday, September 23, 2015

Episode 302 - AYNGEL Project, chapters 1-2

Episode 302: AYNGEL Project, chapters 1-2

Enemies are attacking the city. Time for me to have a shower, a full breakfast and then go for my morning jog.

What is the AYNGEL Project? We’re not sure, but we’d wager it has nothing to do with binge drinking, Nine Inch Nail Nails songs, Super-Sayajins, Ranma cameos, nonspecific numbers of suddenly appearing soldiers, shades of lavender, disproportionally interesting grey-haired girls or St. Puppy’s Hospital for Adorable Orphans. What we do know is that it’s connected to Tom Effing Dyron and the incomprehensible cosmic horror known as Steven. That’s right, it’s another in-joke laden RP-derived mess from the genius authors of Delta Invasion and The Apocalyptic Battle, dedicated to showing how our two protagonists are actually horrible human beings. You’ll laugh (probably not) cry (definitely) and want to bury giant robots in the sand as our two alleged heroes insult each other, engage in naked wrestling, mock entirely reasonable authority and kill hundreds of innocents all in the name of good fun. Guaranteed 100% Matt-free!

Riffers: Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis
Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

Sunday, September 13, 2015

Episode 301 - Esper Chronicles

Episode 301: Esper Chronicles

He'd subjected them all to the Turing test to be sure. A couple of them flunked and had to re-sit it the next semester.

The adventures of Kyrind Brandford Locke Sommerville continue begin in Esper Chronicles, the sequel prequel replacement something to Tales of the Red Knight Saber! After spending a hard day of staring blankly at a rock with a minor side in exploding robots with his brain, alleged hero and sometimes police officer Locke heads out to a Chinese restaurant so he can enjoy seventeen hours of interminable Ranma cameos while using his incredible powers to invade everyone’s privacy without their knowledge and consent. But it’s not all fun and games as Largo comes back from the dead and unveils some secret plan that involves hotel renovations while Sylia recounts the times she fought Zoanoids and fanfics based on fanfics contradict other fanfics based on fanfics. All this plus a kind of sort of appearance from some guy called Bert that is both minor and regrettable at the same time!

Riffers: ?, ?, ? and ?
Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

Wednesday, August 26, 2015

Episode 300 - Tales of the Red Knight Saber

Episode 300: Tales of the Red Knight Saber

They ended up outsourcing the Esper Killing Department to Consultant who spent millions of the company's money on research before finally suggesting that Genom should just build a bigger killer robot.

Not content to be a leering creep of a supporting character, Mackie Stingray decides to be the hero of the story in this vintage fanfiction masterpiece. Suddenly transformed into a six foot tall bike-riding try-hard badarse with the power to kill people with his brain and his own super hardsuit that's better than everyone else's to boot, Mackie sets out to do vaguely defined stuff with no clear goal. But he's not the only author proxy in town, as a run in with super-powered dude Kyrind Brandford and his power to tear killer robots in half like they were made out of ice cream attests! (Whether he can tear them in half like they were made out of other soft desserts remains unproven as yet) Throw in a generic villain returning from the dead, a vague semblance of a plot, unlikeable god-mode OCs borrowed from other fanfics and nearly one hundred soldier, and you have the re-edited thing that is Tales of the Red Knight Saber.

Riffers: ?, ?, ? and ?
Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

Friday, August 14, 2015

Episode 299 - Chaos Lives and Zoids: Chapter Two, chapters 16-18

Episode 299: Chaos Lives and Zoids: Chapter Two, chapters 16-18

Kevin had been up all night, furiously polishing his dinosaur.

Legends tell of a mighty Zoid warrior, one who effortlessly crushed all contenders who rose to face them. A warrior who showed not the merest hint of concern for anything beyond their Zoid, not even to the very people who propped them up along every step of the way. A warrior who was a hero simply because the fic told you they were, rather then the raging sociopath that they obviously were. That Zoid Warrior was Kevin. Wait, what? You thought I meant Ami “Firecat” Nyan-Nyan-arama, didn’t you? Well the truth is that the description could apply to both of them, really. And just to prove that, we not only have the last chunk of Zoids Chapter Two, but also the final Kevin Fic ever! So decapitate your team-mates, argue over construction schedules, ignore the massive invasion that just tried to kill everyone you know and hold dear and congratulate yourself over being the best gosh darned whatever the hell it is that you are as not one but two fics come to an end. You’ll be amazed at how much alike they really are!

Hundreds died, by the way.

Riffers: Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis
Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

Sunday, August 2, 2015

August 2015 Update

July was… very slow. Not going to lie about that. One episode is terrible. We were hit by a combination of Real Life, a very big fic, queues and breakfasts that slowed us down to a crawl. The last few chapters of Zoids Chapter Two have blown out massively to the point where if not for our heavily pre-plannined schedule and looming anniversaries, we probably would have broken it up into more episodes.

The good news is that 299 is nearly finished. It’ll not only be the end of the Firecat epoch, but will also have a bonus from another one of our ‘favourite’ authors. Episodes 300, 302 and 303 are also in various early stages of riffing; we’re hoping to get at least two out per month from here on in, fingers crossed. We also have up to episode 313 scheduled, pending on B-Teams and other such things.

Speaking of, we do have something special planned for Episode 300. It’s not a rebuild, but it is a fic that was very important to us in the past.

As always, we are accepting donations for the Strategic Badfic Reserve. If you have something you want to throw our way, email us at elmerstudios00 (at) gmail (dot) com, and register your Jeff

Wednesday, July 22, 2015

Episode 298 - Zoids: Chapter Two, chapters 12-15

Episode 298: Zoids: Chapter Two, chapters 12-15

Whenever I’m in trouble, I always turn to the ghost of my dead brother’s giant robot cat. It always knows what to do.

After six dozen chapters of everyone congratulating Ami on her latest round of weaboo anime catgirl bullcrap, something amazing happens to the fic. That's right, a plot arrives. I know, it's a crazy thought and might be enough to cause the fic to be ruined forever, but bear with me here. Because the competition to determine the world's best Giant Plastic Robot Dinosaur fighter has begun, the Evil Backdraft Group make a thing that shoots boomerang lasers that cause Ami to turn into the same raging sociopathic monster that she's been all along. This has the net effect of causing filler fights to occur with people we've never heard of before and likely will never once care about again. In the meantime, Bit Cloud wangsts, Jamie gets decapitated and Brad flies so grossly out of character it would be funny if you weren't dying on the inside. So sit back and enjoy Zoids Chapter Two, Obligatory Tournament Arc, Ami is Kind of a Jerk.

Riffers: Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis
Written by: Zogster and Rick R.