Sunday, July 20, 2014

Episode 270 - Lena Frost Wagner, Astonishing X-Men

Episode 270: Lena Frost Wagner, Astonishing X-Men

Suddenly, without warning, another scene breaks out.

In the world of Lena Frost Wagner, Astonishing X-Men*, not all is as it seems. Actually, we're not sure how things are meant to be. Certainly, the fic isn't going to let us in on anything. All we can piece together is that Nightcrawler and the White Queen have a daughter (and possibly a son) who's attending the Jean Grey School for Higher Learning, where she's majoring in drama and crying. Apparently she's friends with random mutants, might or might not be a telepath and kinda sorta has three clone half-sisters and an alien bug thing for a boyfriend. Also there's a box from another universe, the Phoenix (maybe), the danger room, a highly confused Sentinel, the United Kingdom (it exists), possibly a group of Exiles and, oh yeah, everyone you know and love is dead. I think. I'm not sure. If you can understand what's going on here, good luck to you, because you're doing better than the fic is.

*Yes, that's the actual title.

Riffers: Dan, Maya Gold, Celena Harte and Tsuneo Tateo
Written by: Zogster

Friday, July 11, 2014

Episode 269 - My Way to the Championship OC Profiles

Episode 269: My Way to the Championship OC Profiles

Imagination. Get some..

You thought that you had managed to escape the festival of plastic toy robot madness that was My Way to the Championship. You thought you were safe from its ABS clutches, free from the insanity that infected every last scale model inch of it. Well not so fast, boyo, because for your reading pleasure*, we’ve got a special presentation. That’s right, it’s a compilation of the submitted OC profiles that bought you such memorable characters as like the guy who beat Darren, the guy from the model shop and the guy who looks like the guy from Gundam SEED. And not only that, but it also lists the parts that their customized toy robots are made from in excruciating detail! So grab some model cement, a hacksaw and the parts bin and get to work on the epic appendix to this alleged fanfic! You’ll never look at the colour teal the same way again!

*Actual pleasure not guaranteed. Consult your doctor if Trans-Am persists.

Riffers: Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis
Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

Tuesday, June 24, 2014

Episode 268: My Way to the Championship, chapters 10-12

Episode 268: My Way to the Championship, chapters 10-12

Suddenly, the narrative stopped.

After an endless eternity of listing what bits everybody’s plastic robot toy is made of, My Way to the Championship ends. Well, not really as it just kind of halts dead in its tracks without any effort to resolve anything in any way shape or form. Still, it does manage to achieve a lot in these last three parts; blowing half a chapter on a recap, a really awkward and forced romantic subplot that isn't romantic at all, block character introductions and, of course the canon characters sucking up to the Self-Inserts. Throw in Raymond’s obsessive-compulsive and possibly self-destructive behavior for laughs and some shouted forced exposition and you have the indefinite non-conclusion to the sequence of words that was My Way to the Championship.

Well, almost.

Riffers: Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis
Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

Thursday, June 5, 2014

Episode 267 - Girl on Fire, chapter 13

Episode 267: Girl on Fire, chapter 13

I also love sunrises, singing, Jenga, beef stew and greater proportions of unspecified subdivisions of oil companies.

It's that time again! Time for well-paced stories about developed and believable characters? Of course not, you fool; it's time for more Girl on Fire! And since our last chapter ended on a cliffhanger with the sudden intervention of the Injustice League (yes, they're actually in the fic), we have to make sure to maintain the momentum by... having a filler chapter. Yes folks, pacing goes out the window once more as we pack everyone off for a high school episode (type three - harassed by local bully) so we can meet Stephanie's two closest friends - whosie and whatsherface - and have them gush about how wonderful Stephanie is instead. That's right, it's more of the toad elevating action that you've come to dread from Girl on Fire!

Riffers: Dan, Maya Gold, Celena Harte and Tsuneo Tateo
Written by: Zogster

Tuesday, May 27, 2014

Episode 266 - Death in South America, parts 4-6

Episode 266: Death in South America, parts 4-6

Hitler; the baddie you use when you just don’t care anymore.

If you want a story about people dying in South America, then this funny picture weekly is for you. However, if you want plot, pacing, direction, characterization, believably or villains that have any motivation, goals or plans beyond just "they're bad guys" then you're plum out of luck, old chap. Instead, watch as Eagle, Major Bludd, The Baroness and Beanie Guy do battle with cardboard villains in the name of saving the world from a threat so bad that nobody ever bothers to explain what exactly it is. Throw in a forced ending and you have the second half of the linear series of illustrated panels that is Death in South America!

Riffers: Rebecca Bartley, Natasha Isavia, Matt Simmons and Rick R. Mortis
Written by: Rick R.

Friday, May 23, 2014

Episode 265 - My Way to the Championship, chapters 7-9

Episode 265: My Way to the Championship, chapters 7-9

Shining Finger unto others as you would have them Shining Finger unto you.

As the Gundam Tournament gets underway, things get more intense! And there's nothing more tense and dramatic then lengthy introductions of random user-contributed OCs and their custom plastic robot toys, right? Oh sure, you could give Darren a focus chapter that exists solely to crush his spirits or maybe introduce people that look like other people and have the same name as other people or even decide to jarringly shift the tone and talk about Monica's dead hooker mother, but that's not what we're here for. Because, in the end, it's all about Kale and how he should be allowed to godmode his way through the competition. That and the filler chapter. I'll let you decide which is more interesting.

Riffers: Dan, Rebecca Bartley, Tsuneo Tateo and Rick R. Mortis
Written by: Zogster and Rick R.

Tuesday, May 13, 2014

Episode 264 - Dreamstar and the Court Of Dreams: The Gathering of Dreams, chapters 6-7

Episode 264: Dreamstar and the Court Of Dreams: The Gathering of Dreams, chapters 6-7

Yes, all the long, hard hours of shouting silly phrases, reciting rhymes, obeying your self-appointed leader, showers, mental intrusions, magic dinners, magic TV, magic leftovers and toiling under the merciless glare of a talking cat have come down to this one singular moment: shouting another silly phrase.

The moment you’ve all waited for has arrived! Yes, it’s the epic finale of Dreamstar and the Court of Dreams, and what a show the fic has in store for you! Um, actually that’s a good question. They’ve been training their magical powers for so long, showing off their samey attacks in repetitive training sequences, that you’d think it was time to use them against their hated foe, right? No? Well, how about the secrets of their final forms and ultimate attacks? Excited? No, me neither. Because first they’ve got to flounce around the magic castle, have some magic breakfast and forget about someone important (hint: you will too). But once all that’s done, we can get onto the action, right?


Riffers: Dan, Maya Gold, Celena Harte and Tsuneo Tateo
Written by: Zogster